Jokes of the day..

[advocatt]

ok, everyday one jokes..heres one for today..

A guy, very much in love with his girlfriend named "WENDY", decides one day to have her name tattoed on his "Little Brother". When his "Little Brother" was relaxed, you could see the letters "WY", while when it was erect you could read the whole his girlfriend name "WENDY". One day the guy left with Wendy to Jamaica for some nice vacation.

Make it short, one day he feels the need to pee and goes to the toilets. While he is doing his business he sees a black man standing next to him doing the same thing. Out of curiosity, the guy looks down and sees on the black man’s "Little Brother" 2 letters "WY". He totally shock with this new finding. He shouted at black man.

"Hei! Have you also got a girlfriend called "WENDY"?"

The black guy says that he hasn’t got any girlfriend and that he is a tourist guide on the island, he also asks the reason for this question.

The guy says "I have seen on your "Little Brother" the letters "WY". Also mine has the two letters "WY"... But when it is erect, you can read the name "WENDY"."

The black guy, a bit surpised and replies.

"When mine is erect, it reads WELCOME TO JAMAICA, THANKS FOR YOUR VISIT AND HAVE A NICE DAY"

[advocatt]

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There is a hole in one of the bags and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her and said "Madam, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Damn" says the little old lady "I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning." "Well, now, not so fast" says the Cop "How did you get all that money? Did you steal them?"
"Oh no" says the old lady "you see, my backyard faces to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there is a game on, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds. So I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I say '$20 or off it comes!' "
"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the Cop. "OK good luck! By the way what's in the other bag?"
"Well" the old lady continues "not all of them pay up...."

[knotty]

why did the monkey fall out of the tree ????
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he died !!!!!!!!!

[knotty]

why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree ??
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because he was holding on to the frist one !!!!!

[carpe diem]

What is the difference between having guts and having balls.


With guts, you come home after a night out drunk and see your wife sweeping the floor. You ask her if she is sweeping or is she going to fly to the store for more beer.


With balls, you come home drunk, disshoveled, lipstick on your face, collar and potentially other body parts. All the while smelling of cheap perfume. You spot the wife standing there glaring at you. You calmly walk up, smack her on the ass and say, "You're next, Fatty!"

[carpe diem]

Mr. Honda goes to Heaven

Mr. Honda, of the Honda Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to Heaven for judgment. At the gates, St. Peter told Mr. Honda, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."

Mr. Honda thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God. I have a question for Him."

St. Peter took Mr. Honda to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

Mr. Honda then asked God, "Aren't you the inventor of women?"

God Said, "Ah, yes. Indeed I am".

"Well," said Mr. Honda, "Professional to professional, you have some

major design flaws in your design;

1- There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.

2- It chatters constantly at high speeds.

3- Most of the rear ends are too soft and have excessive wobble.


4- The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.

5- Plus the monthly down time and aggravation are outrageous, and I don't even wanna start talking about the maintenance costs."

"Hmmmm, you do raise some good points" replied God, "Lets have a wee look." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few things and waited for the results. After a moment God said, "Well, it may be true that my invention seems to be flawed, but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours!"

[little1uk]

Little Johnnys neighbour had given birth to a baby but he was born without ears, johnny and his mum went round to visit the baby, johnny was warned that i he mentioned the baby had no ears he would be grounded for a month. Johnny looked in the cot and said "what a lovely baby, lovely feet, hands and such soft skin", he turned to the babies mother and asked " Hows his eyesight?" The babies mother said it was perfect. Johnny replied: "Thats great news cause he'd be fucked if he needed glasses"

[little1uk]

Bert and flo in an old peoples home,
BERT: Im leaving you flo, im leaving you for Ivy, she holds my willy all night.
FLO: But so do i Bert.
BERT: Yes but she's got parkinsons.

[little1uk]

Bloke see's an advert in a pet shop, TALKIN CENTIPEDE £5000, He buys it and takes home in a small box and after about 30mins takes the lid off and asks if it would like to go down the pub for a pint, the centipede doesnt answer, so raisin his voice he repeats the question, still no reply, gettin angry thinkin he's been conned he shouts the question again, at which the centipede sticks his head out the box and says " I heard you the first tme, i was puttin my fuckin shoes on "

[knotty]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' :jack

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

[knotty]

As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you.

He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place.

He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be.

He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him-he's done this many times before.

His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you.

After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.

You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

Naughty, Naughty!

Excuse me, What were you thinkin'?

[little1uk]

A bloke goes to the doctors with a flywheel between his legs
The doctor asks: "Whats that ?"
Bloke replies: "dunno, but its drivin me nuts"

[little1uk]

A bloke see's a woman givin him the eye,
"Do i know you ?" he asks
"Yes" she replies
He quickly thinks of the one time he was unfaithful and adds,
"Were you the stripper i shagged over the pool table on my stag night, you spanked me and shoved a cucumber up my arse ?"
"No" she replies "Im your sons maths teacher"

[little1uk]

Man and Wife in bed, he farts and shouts goal, the wife lets one go and shouts 1 all.
When it gets to 2 all the man strains so hard for the winning fart he shits the bed. The wife says what the hell was that ? Man replies, Half time, swap sides

[millekid]

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' :jack

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

ha ha :thumbup

[advocatt]

Inside the toilet..

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying :
" Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom
But I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat
Embarrassed, " Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: " So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this
Is too bizarre so I say: " Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear I
Hear another question. " Can I come over ?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could
Just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, " No.......
I'm a little busy right now !!!"

Then I hear guy say nervously....

Listen. I'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the
Other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

[little1uk]

A women is given a hospital tour, she looks in a room and see's a man:jack masturbatin " thats awful " she says to the doctor. He explains the man has an incurable condition, his testicles fill with semen so fast he has to do it 5 times a day or he will be in terrible pain. " Poor man " says the woman, in the next room a nurse is suckin a mans cock. " Explain that then " she says to the doctor. The doctor says " Same condition but he's with BUPA "

[carpe diem]

A young boy went up to his father and asked 'What's
the difference between potentially and
realistically?"
The father ponders for a moment, then answered: "Go
and ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for a million pounds and also ask your
sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a
million quid, then come back and tell me what you
have learned."
So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would
you sleep with Robert Redford for a million
pounds?"
The mother replied: "Definitely, I wouldn't pass up
an opportunity like that."
The boy went to his older sister and asked: "Would
you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million quid?" The
girl replied: "Oh gosh, I would just love to do
that, I would be nuts to pass up that opportunity."
The boy thought about this for a few days and went
back to his father. His father asked him; "Did you
find the difference between potentially and
realistically?"
The boy replied: "Yes, potentially we're sitting
on two million quid, but realistically we're living with a couple of slappers!"
The father replied "That's my boy!"

[little1uk]

Man sittin at home looking at his marriage certificate,
Wife asks " what you lookin at that for ? "
Man replies " the expiry date "

[carpe diem]

Be aware of this. I had another lucky escape.

I walked into B&Q at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking. Fortunately, I got the first punch in and that
was the end of that.Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.

Be Aware!

[little1uk]

What do you call a man with a car on his head ?
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JACK

[little1uk]

How Do You Keep An Idiot In Suspense ?
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Tell Ya Tomorrow

[carpe diem]

> >> >Three tortoises, Rodney, Derek and Gary, decide to go on picnic.
Rodney
> >> packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
> >> >
> >> >The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away. So, it
takes
> >> >them
> >> ten days to get there.
> >> >
> >> >When they get there Rodney unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Gary
give me
> >>the
> >> bottle opener." "I didn't bring it," says Gary
> >> >
> >> >"I thought you packed it," Rodney gets worried, He turns to Derek,
"Did
> > you
> >> bring the bottle opener?"
> >> >
> >> >Naturally Derek didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from
home
> >> without a bottle opener.
> >> >
> >> >Rodney and Derek beg Gary to go back for it. But he refuses as he
says
> >> they will eat all the sandwiches.
> >> >
> >> >After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives
that
> >> they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.
> >> >
> >> >So Gary sets off down the road at a steady pace.
> >> >
> >> >20 days pass and he still isn't back and Rodney and Derek are
starving,
> > but
> >> a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still
> >> >
> >> >isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take
it
any
> >> longer so they take out a sandwich each
> >> >
> >> >and just as they are about to eat it, Gary pops up from behind a
rock
> >> >and
> >> shouts
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >"I KNEW IT' ........ I'M NOT F***ING GOING!"
> >>
> >>

[carpe diem]

Just for a minute, forget everything stressful and read this

Close your eyes and go back in time.

Before the Internet or the Apple Mac.

Before semi-automatics, joyriders and crack....

Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...

Way back........

I'm talking about Hide and Seek in the park.

The corner shop.

Hopscotch.

Butterscotch.

Skipping.

Handstands.

Football with an old can.

Fingerbob.

Beano, Dandy, Buster, Twinkle and Dennis the menace.

Roly Poly.

Hula Hoops,

The smell of the sun and fresh cut grass.

Bazooka Joe bubble gum.

An ice cream cone on a warm summer night from the van that plays a tune

Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe Neapolitan or perhaps a

screwball

Watching Saturday morning cartoons....short adverts , The Double

Deckers, Road Runner, He-Man, Zeebedee Tiswas or Swapshop?, and 'Why

Don't You'? - or staying up for Doctor Who.

When around the corner seemed far away and going into town seemed like

going somewhere.

Earwigs, wasps, stinging nettles and bee stings.

Sticky fingers.

Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, and Zorro.

Climbing trees.

Walking to school, no matter what the weather.

Running till you were out of breath and getting a stitch,

laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights.

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

Being tired from playing....remember that?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon

playing cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Choppers and Grifters

I'm not finished just yet.....

Eating raw jelly. Orange squash ice pops.

Remember when...

There were two types of trainers - girls and boys, and Dunlop Green Flash

- and the only time you wore them at school was for P.E.

You knew everyone in your street - and so did your parents.

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

You didn't sleep a wink on Christmas eve.

When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.

When 25p was decent pocket money

When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

When nearly everyone's mum was at home when the kids got there.

When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

When being sent to the head's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.. Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs etc.parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! - and some of us are still afraid of them!!

Remember when....

Decisions were made by going " Ip Dip Dog S* t "

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly".

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was germs.

And the worst thing in your day was having to sit next To one.

It was unbelievable that 'British Bulldog 123' wasn't An Olympic event.

Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a catapult.

Nobody was prettier than Mum.

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavoured chewable aspirin.

Ice cream was considered a basic food group

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true

Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED.

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...

I DOUBLE-DARE YOU

[little1uk]

3 things not to say in a gay bar
1 Fuck me its hot in here
2 Bugger me this beers good
3 Do you mind if i push your stool in a bit !!!!

[little1uk]

Woman stands nude in front of the bedroom mirror and says to her husband
" i look terrible, im lookin old, and a little overweight... pay me a compliment"
Husband replies " your eyesights spot on "

[millekid]

A young boy went up to his father and asked 'What's
the difference between potentially and
realistically?"
The father ponders for a moment, then answered: "Go
and ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert
Redford for a million pounds and also ask your
sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a
million quid, then come back and tell me what you
have learned."
So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would
you sleep with Robert Redford for a million
pounds?"
The mother replied: "Definitely, I wouldn't pass up
an opportunity like that."
The boy went to his older sister and asked: "Would
you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million quid?" The
girl replied: "Oh gosh, I would just love to do
that, I would be nuts to pass up that opportunity."
The boy thought about this for a few days and went
back to his father. His father asked him; "Did you
find the difference between potentially and
realistically?"
The boy replied: "Yes, potentially we're sitting
on two million quid, but realistically we're living with a couple of slappers!"
The father replied "That's my boy!"


ha ha :thumbup

[millekid]

Woman stands nude in front of the bedroom mirror and says to her husband
" i look terrible, im lookin old, and a little overweight... pay me a compliment"
Husband replies " your eyesights spot on "


lol :thumbup

[advocatt]

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower,
gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed
undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate Housewife

[carbon kid]

wot do you call a bear with a dick on its head?



genital ben

[carbon kid]

dyslexic dwarves-they're not big and they're not clever

[knotty]

There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents. So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married".

So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it". The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house.

So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink. On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it. When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it. When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it.

The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?". And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt."

Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled".

Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".

[knotty]

Two guys where walking down the street when they saw two dogs humping.

One said, "I wonder how much liquor it would take to get my wife to do it that way".

So they made a bet of 10 bucks on whose wife would do it on the lease amount of liqour.

After a week they met in a bar.

"Well", said the first guy "How much liquor did it take".

"A pint of whiskey", replied the other guy.

The first guy said "You win, It took me a whole bottle just to get her out in the yard."

[carpe diem]

Murphy stops by to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"


"No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.




"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."




"Fook off you liar!"




"I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?"




"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"

[NewBoots]

Bloke goes to the Doctor's.... 'I've got a problem with my Arse' he says
Doctor ( as bored as you like) says ' Okay, get yer kecks of and lets see yer fudge tunnel' (or words to that effect).... 'ah haa!' says the Dr... 'I can see what the problem is.... there's a a bit of lettuce sticking out of your arse'..... 'alright then pull it out' says the bloke....'aaaah well that's just the tip of the iceburg' says the Dr....
go on then, laugh it is a bit funny!!!!!

[sharky]

A young women is a big chelsea fan and has Lampard and Terry's tattooed on her thighs.
She asks her friend does she recognise them?
She says she isn't sure but the one in the middle with the black curly hair and big lips is Shaun Wright-Phillips:cool2

[4kids1dog]

A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store/livestock dealer and picked up acouple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home.

While he is scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told himshe was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?" The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. I would walk you home but I can't carry this lot." The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand?" "Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says, "Let's take my shortcut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold the chickens."

[carlos]

Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos (MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

[rsvchris]

Why I fired My Secretary...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....
They will remember.


My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday! " It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.




I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"


We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go
straight back to the office, Do We?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied.




She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday.




And I just sat there... On the couch...




Naked!!

.

[advocatt]

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her
eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness
and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she
showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a
seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young
minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled with water, and in the water
floated, of all things, a condom !

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to
chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the
bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of
him and he could no longer resist.

"Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would
tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was
walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little
package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep
it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I
haven't had the flu all winter?"

[barnzee]

Boy walks past parents bedroom door, see's mum on top of dad buncing up and down.
Next morning at breakfast he ask's mum "why were you buncing on top of daddy last night "
Mum replies " well daddies belly is getting big so i was trying to flattern it down "
" That wont work " he replies
" Why" asks mum
"Well ever time you flattern it down the lady next door comes round and blows it back up"

[mrspoon1205]

what's brown and sticky?












































a stick